I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops