Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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