Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops