How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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