A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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chirs

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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