(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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