How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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