What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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