what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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