why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops