hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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