A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...