Can midgets still have big dreams?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops