Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man with no head say to the women?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops