sky silverstein

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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