Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops