What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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