A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Do you play piano? No

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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