A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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WOw you have no life

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops