Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

What rhymes with milk...milf

knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

Japan

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

whats worse than failing your maths test?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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