Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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I like poop in my butt

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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