What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops