I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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