When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

25

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: knok knok A: Im home

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops