whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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