Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Phew... it's gone.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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