Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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