a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops