One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops