Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Phew... it's gone.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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