Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What Do call a dog with an e A doge

thumb_up thumb_down -33

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

thumb_up thumb_down -35

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

010010101210001010 You dirty girl

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -35

25

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops