A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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