How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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