Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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