Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Knock Knock Come in

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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