two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

kill yourself....with a cigarette

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

Women outside of the kitchen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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