A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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a

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops