How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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who else is on here?

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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poo

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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