Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

eat a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops