Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

your mom was so fat that she died.

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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