why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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eat a hot dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops