Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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dyslexic's Untie

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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