How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Your Mom

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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snowglobe

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadillac going over a cliff? It was my cadillac

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what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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