Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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A pope meets another one

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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