How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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