What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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my egg roll

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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