What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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A storm be brewin!

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops