What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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GINGERVITIS! 1. redhair 2.freckles 3.no soul 4.depression/anger 5.gay JLR

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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