What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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