what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Pianos.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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