Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...