- Anti Joke

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

i saw amango it splootered

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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