How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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a blind man walks into a wall

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What does? 42

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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