Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Who wants water? I do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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