Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops