Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

What do we call Osama? Osama

why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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