What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

13 =B you just learned something

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats funny about this joke? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops