What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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How old are you? 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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