Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

where's mom I killed her

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

alert('The Game')

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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