when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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My jeans

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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