How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops