pobody's nerfect

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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